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Katherine Belmont

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

When confronted with the mystery of the empty perfume bottle, and Boaz's tidbit of information through QuillBook, Hazel had come clean. She wasn't a liar, and Kate could tell that although she knew she'd done the wrong thing---Hazel wasn't especially sorry about it. In fact, she seemed more hurt and angry that Kate was upset by it, insisting through tears that she just really wanted Kate to go out with Boaz. Or someone. Or  anything. And just not be sad anymore.

It was that heartbroken look that played on Kate's mind after she finished work. Adam was collecting Hazel from school that night, and normally she would spend this time at the hospital. Instead, she made her way to Narrie---of half a mind to surprise Hazel at the school gates and take her out to do something fun. She arrived early, and whiled away time in the Drunken Roo, admiring the half-done renovations and a red wine Matt had cellared from their wedding.

The afternoon came, and went. Kate let Adam pick up Hazel, she'd forgotten to let him know she was in town. He had plans for the kids anyway, and Hazel had been looking forward to those. She finished the bottle of wine, and ordered another. Was Hazel right? Eight years she'd been married to Matt, and more than half of that he'd been in the coma. She missed him every day, but this wasn't a way to live.

It wasn't a way for Hazel to live. 

Kate frowned, and picked up the bottle of wine from the table. She headed upstairs to their old apartment on the top floor, and stood for a while in the dusty space. She should probably apologise. That.. felt like it needed to be done. She changed into a dress long forgotten, fixed her makeup. Made sure that no hint of earlier tears was visible, and apparated to the edge of the Tallygarunga school grounds.

At this late hour, most of the teachers would be in their quarters. Did Boaz spend nights here? Some did, some didn't... some stayed only when they were on night duty. Kate wandered around until she found a door with his name on it. All the teachers were allocated rooms, even if they didn't use them. Maybe he would be here? She knocked on the door.

"Hey, it's um. It's me," she called, more than a little awkward. "Wanted to say sorry about Hazel, I---I hope you like wine?"

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

Boaz had never been a man who paid much attention to what was going on just beyond his realm of interest and currently that realm was baseball.  It had been something he had played, and loved from the time he could actually remember much of anything.  He had gone to America once as a boy and he fell for the Yankees, something about how smart they look in the pinstripes.  He was currently catching up with some of the games he had missed, well the highlights anyway.  he smiled as she watched a rather amazing pitch.  He had been a pitcher when he played.  He was nothing like the Cuban Missle, Aroldis Chapman… that man… Well- For Boaz it was better than Magic to watch someone throw a 107 mph fastball.  

”Did you see that Cheeto?”  He asked the rather bored looking cat sitting on his bed.  His pearl had turned out to be a male kitten, not that he minded the change, Cheeto also happened to be fond of the crunchy snack, much like Boaz had been.  Cheeto looked up and mewed at him before turning his attention to the bird on the windowsill.  Which was funny honestly… Cheeto had no interest in chasing the bird, they were friends.  It was funny to watch them together. He looked at the small cat and then looked up when there was a knock at his door. 

Which was strange, he didn’t usually have visitors- and most of the other teachers and he liked their time away from everyone.  He stood up and was honestly very surprised.  The me in question was one Katherine Belmont.  He smiled.  ”Oh, don’t worry about it.  I think it embarrassed my sister, she’s been trying to set me up for years with no luck, and she has never been so bold as to try that tactic.”  he said with a laugh.  He thought it had been funny but he figured that Kate was mortified.  ”Really it’s not a big deal.  It was a first for me however.”  He stepped aside to invite her into the tidare yoy room offering her a chair.  Cheeto looked up, unimpressed with the company he laid his head back down.  ”I do like wine.” 

He took the bottle and smiled.  ”Thank you but you didn’t need to do that.”  It was just a simple, harmless letter.  At least Boaz had seen it that way.  ”However I think to be safe, your daughter and my sister should never meet… “  he said as he paused the TV.  ”How are you? Keeping those young ladies at Penrose in line?”  he said with a smile. 

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

Kate stood in the doorway, bottle of wine held up in one hand---and two crystal glasses in the other. So they were the very special wedding present ones that she'd refused to let Matt use, who cared anymore? Glasses existed for a purpose. To drink out of. Why be so hung up about these ones just because they were given to her on a particular day? She looked down, realising now that she'd left her shoes back at the apartment. That's why she felt short. Meh, whatever. Kate walked in as he made the space, a smile twitching across her lips at the cramped teachers' quarters. 

Ah, she remembered those days. The Tally ones really weren't so bad, but Penrose---for all it's class and money---they were almost prison cells. Kate had been very glad that she kept her own apartment, most of the teachers did. Maybe that's why the rooms sucked? 

"You mean you've not let her try, or she can't get the set up to happen? 'Cause I can see the first, but the latter I imagine it's hard to find a woman that doesn't look your way and go 'yes please'... maybe your sister just has awful taste?" Kate shrugged. She'd drunk enough that she was free. Still competent and in control, but with far less care for holding her tongue. Kate sat the glasses on a table, pouring them each a very generous drink.

"Didn't need to, no," Kate agreed. "Doing it anyway. You know, it's not the students at Penrose that are trouble. It's the other teachers. Laney's making a move for my job. Again. Third time since the accident, and now she reckons that sending Hazel to Tally? Hah---symbolic of my "growing disloyalty" to the school. She ought to learn a thing or two about loyalty, I taught that little witch, mentored her while she was a new teacher, and then bloody well put her where she is now." Kate rolled her eyes with disgust, but stopped before taking a sip of her drink.

"All's fair though, I suppose I did the same to the woman who hired me, but..." Kate snorted and waved off the idea. "I was more of a terrible person then. Point is, Laney is still a terrible person. Alan and Stu don't get it, or they wouldn't... even if they weren't so preoccupied with everything else. They have whole teams of people loyal to them, I can't even tell my deputy what I want for lunch without her crafting it into an attack." 

"Do you think the wine is good? I don't think it's that great, really. I expected... better," she lifted the glass to stare at the liquid as if that would answer her question. "Gods, it has been so long since I had a good Friday night. I don't feel like I should be allowed to? I spend most of them at the hospital. Being a good wife to a man who can't be a good husband in return. Not his fault, no... but. I'm tired of being this good. Tired of being sad about a situation that hasn't changed a bit since it first happened. Zero improvement in all this time, Boaz. Zero. And Hazel..." Kate drummed her fingers against the crystal wall of the glass.

"I mean, I think Hazel wants a full family. The chance to have siblings, and for me to be happy, and..." Kate took a sip. Her throat was getting dry with all this overtalking. "What do you think I should do?"

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

Humbled by the compliment he shook his head.  ”Nah- its happened, she does this clever little trick where she invites me somewhere and the set up is there waiting- so ambush blind dates I guess.”  He thought for a moment. ”They just have not been right for me.  Don’t get me wrong they were nice, and very pretty but nothing was interesting about them.”  He was a man who believed in the mental aspect of a relationship.  Often times it was far more important than the physical.  The ability to take of one another… to want to take care of one another.  To not feel bored by the whole thing…There was a need to challenge and be challenged.  At least that was the way he saw it.  He had not really found that- may be once.  It had however ended once the topic of marriage and kids and the future had come up.  He was still just a kid basically, who the hell knew what they wanted at 22, not him… 

Boaz listened as she spoke of her protégé that was now gunning for her job.  ”outsiders don’t realize that academia is a blood sport… if only they knew.”  he let out a humorless snort and shook his head.  ”I think you did what was best for your child… and that’s not a bad thing… I wish more parents would do that.”  Ego was a bitch.  ”Kill her with kindness.”  he said.  Though he knew it sounded like a prepackaged answer.  ”It may throw her off her game just enough… and you can get a strategy in place to defend your position.  Its all about strategy, and clean strategy.   Above reproach.”  he said.  It was something he had heard his mother say a million times. 

”Honestly, I have no idea, I am not well versed in wine, this could be the cheapest bottle you could find and I would not be able to tell the difference.”  he said with a small chuckle.  There was a lot that he had to work on and that may be one of them… there was a class about wine at the rec center back home, maybe he would check that out.  Then he could tell Kate about the wine.  ”everyone deserves a night.  Its hard to pour into someone else when your bucket is empty.”  Stress could do that to you.  Looking at the woman in front of him he considered what she was asking.  It was a complicated problem.  ”Well, I don’t think my purpose to tell you what you need to do.  This is your life and your family..”  He rubbed his face for a moment.  ”It is a long time, but I think maybe the question to ask would be ‘are you ready to let go’”  he said with a small frown.  ”I wish I could tell you what to do..   he said with a smile. 

”I think whatever you do, you owe it to yourself to consider your happiness as well.”  which was often a bit challenging.   ”It may not be the easiest thing to do but… I think its important.”  It was not as though he knew much about being married.  He just went with the wisdom he had learned over the years.  ”And it’ not like you have to know what you are going to do right now…”  he said.  ”For now you can just chat with me and Cheeto.” 

 

 

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

"I see," that made sense. Kate nodded slowly, wandering around the tiny living quarters and peering at knick knacks and other curiosities. Normally she would never have been so impolite, normally her strict upbringing would have forced her to stand still and poised, show no interest in anything until it was offered to her. Boring. Kate was naturally curious and liked to see how people lived, what they loved, who they were. She'd spent hours poking around Matt's apartment while he was working, which he'd been very angry about. Especially when he discovered she'd beaten all his best scores on all his favourite video games.

"Am I ready to let go?" Kate repeated his question with a sigh. It was the question she'd been asking herself for years, and some days the answer was clear. Most days it wasn't. Marie, in an odd fit of kindness, had said that if she still needed to ask the question, she probably wasn't ready. Lately Kate had come to wonder whether she would ever be ready and if the solution wasn't just to jump back in and see what made sense. "Depends on what "letting go" means, really. Am I ever going to be able to stop wishing this hadn't happened to us? No... and am I ever going to be able to fully leave behind my truest best friend and deepest love? No. Am I ready to look for a new, serious relationship and rebuild my life? Not... yet."

Kate circled back around to lean against the back of a chair, comfortable and relaxed. Boaz was easy to talk to. Mostly because he wasn't interrupting, and she'd had just enough liquor to say what she felt. She looked down at Cheeto, and gave him a shrug.

"I have worked so hard to do this right," Kate murmured. "I've been a dutiful wife, a mother, a headmistress. You know what I haven't been? A person. Doing the right thing should be enough to make you happy, Boaz, but it doesn't. Doing the right thing doesn't... take away the loneliness. I'm never not going to miss Matthew, but I'm still.. I'm still a person. And I think that I want to be treated like a person again. And I think that I don't want to be alone anymore."

Kate sipped her wine, her outpouring a little awkward now. Refreshing and liberating to say it out loud, the thoughts that gnawed away at her soul. Did they make her a terrible person? She missed physical contact, closeness, intimacy. Kate had always had a strong need for it, and the years since the accident had been torture. And yet, she'd been good. So very good. Maybe it was time to stop and give in. Let herself be happy for once, if Matt ever woke up... he would understand. 

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

He nodded.  It was not as though he really worried about dating to be honest.  It was the last thing he wanted to worry about in the long run.  However sometimes he was confronted with it and he managed to handle it the best he could with what he had.  The break up with his fiancé had bothered him more than he liked to let on but he usually just kept that all to himself and so unless he was with his sister, he didn’t have to think about it too often.  That and he felt like dating was just a way to meet the expectations of someone else while forgetting your own… it was a strange thing… but then he supposed he liked dating when he was into his date.   

”I don’t think letting go means any of that you know?”  He didn’t think it was wrong to move on when you had the opportunity to.  It was hard to stay stuck in something and keep living a life that was fulfilled.  He liked to think that most people who passed, or were in the strange situation that her husband was in, would want for their families to be happy.  Then again he had no real experience with this.  His life was not marred by tragedy… it was average.  Aside from the whole magic thing… but that was not tragedy, it was just something that had happened to their family.  ”I think letting go just means allowing some of the weight off the load- of course you love him… I don’t think that is the question… its how long can you are in a relationship with someone who cannot reciprocate from no fault of either of you.”  He didn’t know anyone who wanted a coma instead of a relationship. 

He listened to her and he nodded.  ”Well serious relationships happen when they happen, I don’t think anyone really goes into something knowing for sure that something will be serious.’  He pointed out though he had the one relationship and much like he had not thought it would be serious he also didn’t see the impending doom when it was in front of him.  Cheeto seemed interested in the conversation again and was now sitting up.  His tail switching back and forth calmly as Boaz reached over to scratch the cat under it’s chin. 

”I think you are at least getting to know what you want.  That’s a good first step.  Not wantng to be alone helps you move onto what needs to happen next.”  Which was hard, taking those steps.   ”I think it’s fair to want those things for yourself.”  

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

Kate nodded. Boaz was wise. Very wise for someone who looked (to her) like they were probably homeless. He wasn't saying anything new, or terribly profound---certainly not anything that hadn't already been said to her by Alan or Stuart, even her mother had weighed in on this. Though, that had more been a thinly veiled attack on "that terrible Tallygarunga boy" than it was genuine concern for Kate's happiness. It was so much easier to tell her to go shove it when Matt had been up and around. 

"I guess the last person to accept that is... me," she shrugged. No one else had a problem with her moving on, least of all Hazel. Kate had always been the one to refuse. Always been the one who felt like it was cheating, unfaithful, that it made her the same sort of wife to Matt that... well. That she'd been to Seth. She wasn't proud of that. They'd all been such dumb kids. She stopped by the table, picking up the wine bottle and topping up her glass---before tilting the bottle back toward Boaz to offer the same to him.

"My life has been on pause for years," she said, with a deep and resolute breath. "It's time I pressed 'play' again. And whatever happens... happens, right? Whether Matthew wakes up or... not... I won't have wasted any more years waiting." there was something very comforting about this decision. She felt like she could breathe a little better, stand a little straighter. The future was suddenly less bleak. Hazel would no longer be raised in a grey void of Kate's misery. There was... potential. Possibility.

"Besides, I want a lot of things," Kate had always been a woman of ambition. That was no secret. She enjoyed her work at Penrose, hadn't tried to go beyond that for fear of losing her security. "Possibly a career change---do you think I would do well in the Ministry? I think I have the right level of 'ruthless bitch' to own that place. Then Laney can just have the damn school. You know I've been there for... almost my whole life. That's... upsetting..." Kate's voice trailed off as she went into a career crisis. She'd started at Penrose in one of the first rounds of pre-school programs, and only had four years at VMU before she took a job there teaching.

"Good thing we rescued Hazel from that," she snorted, raising her glass as if it was a toast. "She's a smart kid. Such a smart kid, she just knows things... but you know that. Of course you do. You're her teacher." Kate had her wagging finger out, pointed at Boaz. "And you're kind of teaching me now. Isn't that fun? But I need it, I do, I'm... it's a difficult crossroads in my life this one, but you're absolutely right. I am allowed to want these things for myself."

Kate looked up at him, her lips curling into a devilish grin not seen in years.

"I'm allowed to want you to kiss me," she said airily. "You can't stop me."

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

It was always much harder to accept something for yourself.  It was a giant step and there was no guarantee you would land on your feet.  That was scary.  Letting out a small breath as he leaned forward to accept the offer of wine.  He had not had much to drink in a while, mostly because he was here and he didn’t really like the idea of being responsible for someone else’s kid and being intoxicated.  The last thing he needed was a scandal and given his appearance they would be quick to judge him, that was the way it went most of the time.  ”Its hard to live in limbo, it weighs on someone much more than others would know.  Its one of those things you know… everyone goes through something at some point.  he was getting to a point were he was rambling.

”A career change?”  He questioned sitting back against the wall beside his bed as he looked at her.  ”I can see you there, it would be nice to know someone who is a big wig.”  he laughed at the idea.  ”I think it’s m ore you have the ambition and drive.  Ruthless bitch is just what jealous people say.”  he said with a smile.  He didn’t really know if that was true for sure but he was willing to bet on it.  ”I mean, its something to think about.  Sometimes we outgrow things… and we have to move on.  That is life.”  You grew… always. 

Boaz was all about his growth and he would always look for the glow up.  ”To grow we make our self uncomfortable and it sounds like leaving the school would cause some growth.”  He said with a nod.  ”But it’s not something you have to decide right away yeah?  Do what those politicians do and put feelers out for the job you have your eye on.”  He was not a genius but he had binged a few political drama’s when he was home.  ”and a cute little talking button.”  he said with a laugh and then he felt his cheeks get warm with her admission. 

”No, no you’re right I cant make you stop that…”[/]b  he looked down.  ”Thanks that’s very flattering.”  he said with a small smile.  ’I uh, don’t really know what to say to that.”  he chuckled nervously. 

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

As the blush hit Boaz's cheeks, Kate's grin widened. For all her orchestrated politeness, Kate actually had very little shame. She'd never have survived if she did, there were plenty of aspects of her life that she should have been embarrassed by. Perhaps she genuinely didn't care, or maybe she was that well-practiced at distancing herself from the people she'd embarrassed herself in front of, it wasn't really relevant. And seeing Boaz blush was incredibly cute.

"I was rather hoping you wouldn't say anything," she replied with a smirk. No point being coy about it. Kate didn't know what she wanted in the long term, but her short-term wants were crystal clear. Boaz was kind and thoughtful, intelligent and challenging in his own way. He was someone she could hold a conversation with, without wanting to shake him. Outside of Alan and Stuart, that made Boaz the closest thing Kate had to a "friend" in Narrie. 

With a sigh and another long sip, Kate let the grin fade. 

"I'm... actually serious," she admitted, her voice soft. "I haven't wanted anything like that from anyone in six years. It's... terrifying to feel like that again, but... I do. I did when I first met you, and you were nice to me even though I was horrible to you. You didn't have to help me, but you did. You made me feel like I was more than just the shell I'd become, more than Hazel's mum and Matthew's poor wife. I actually... do like you. A lot. And clearly, Hazel's noticed." 

Admitting it still felt like a betrayal to Matt, maybe one day that would get easier. Nothing good was coming of denying her wants and needs though, Hazel had shown her that. She needed to be happy again, and real. Herself. Not just a figure in other lives, but live her own life again.

"Are you blushing because you're mortified I'd feel that way," she said, only a little awkwardly. Kate tried to pull back that wicked grin and easy confidence. "Or... because you've thought about it too?"

It was supposed to be a light tease, make him blush again---but as she said it, she heard the words and cringed a little. What arrogance. She couldn't take them back now.

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

Boaz had to admit the first time that he met Kate she was rather terrible to him.  However, he was not one to be horrible back.  The golden rule was not just something he taught to his students, but he actually believed in it.  That and the world was a dismal enough place sometimes, it was nice to be able to practice what he taught.  For Boaz it didn’t matter who she was other than another person on their jounery of life and he had no room to judge her for anything really.  He was not perfect, nor did he pretend to be.  He messed up, he learned, and he would then do better.  This however was a new one.  Boaz was not unfamiliar with a mom having a crush, but they didn’t usually act upon them.  

It was one of the many strange things about being a teacher, most of the rime they left him alone but they did make comments.  He understood it.  He looked at her.  The fact was he was actually sort of flattered.  He would be lying if he had not noticed Kate was attractive.  She was also smart and successful and- the mother of a student.  And- she had been drinking.  Boaz was not sure he felt comfortable with something happening with alcohol involved.  

”I am- blushing because I didn’t think a woman quite like you would be interested.”  he said honestly. Attraction for him was not just the physical. She was attractive for many reasons.  He chuckled again.  ”I would say that you are a woman of confidence and most would find that intimidating, hell when I saw I would have both Kate’s and Alan’s kid in his class.  Talk about pressure. 

”I also think we’ve been drinking”  he said cautiously he didn’t want to offend her.  ”And I think for something like that to happen, I would rather us both be clear headed…” which was the truth.  It was something that deserved sobriety.  ”And I am not saying that, just to deflect… but because I don’t want you to wake up with regrets…”  He didn’t.  He really didn’t- not to mention how awkward it would be if she did regret it…

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

"Oh, Boaz, you sweet thing," Kate's laugh came with a shake of her head. He was such a gentleman, it was almost disgusting. Another man--most men, in fact--would have seized the opportunity as it was presented. That wasn't wrong, Kate was a grown woman who knew exactly what she was doing. It was rare that Kate let anyone truly take advantage of her, and only ever offered what she was willing to give. Kate sighed and topped up her glass again.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but your concerns are... unfounded. Alcohol as the breeding ground of bad decisions is something of a myth, if you ask me. It's more like a key," Kate tapped her fingers idly against the glass. "You know me well enough to know that... I would never be seen out in public as I am now. Casual, under-dressed, speaking freely. Gods, I forgot my shoes at the apartment and haven't touched up my make up in the last hour. Every aspect of who I let the world see is so crafted, right down to the words I use and the way I move---anything that doesn't fit that, does not happen. It's a lot of effort, and there are very few people I can relax that around. The society I was raised in, live in, work in, it demands that level of perfection. Growing up, and for a long time after that, I really believed it was also who I wanted to be."

Kate stepped around the side of the couch, dropping a hand to where Cheeto was sitting, absently smoothing down the cat's fur. 

"It's not. Not anymore. Maybe it was, but the whole act is so... practiced that it's far easier than letting myself go, and chase after the things I do want. Alcohol melts away the mask, inspires me to act on the truth of who I am. Too much, and yes---like anyone, I make bad decisions. But I'm far from that point. I'm a big girl, I know my limits. And I know it's not the first time I've wondered what it would be like to be closer to you, just the first time I've been free enough to ask for it." 

"Almost all of the decisions in my life that led to regret, are decisions I made when I was stone cold sober. And usually because I went with what was good for my image, rather than what I wanted deep down. I don't think this is something I will regret in the morning, and even if I did? I can still be proud that I didn't run away from something that I wanted." Kate shrugged. Especially since Hazel had sent that letter, she'd pondered the pros and cons of someone like Boaz to death in her mind. Every negative point seemed to focus on how it would look rather than how she would feel.

"If it isn't something you want, or if you think you would regret it in the morning---that's perfectly fine," she added softly. "Just please don't pretend that it's to save me from regrets. Because I'm done regretting all of the things I never had the courage to make happen."

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

Boaz was not easily rattled… usually anyway.  women always seemed to do the right things rattle them.  Letting out a small chuckle he nodded.  ”It’s not just the sobriety to take into account.”  He said with a small sigh.  It was not as though he knew what he was looking for but based on the conversations he didn’t think that they wanted the same things.  Boaz was not just looking for a little something- he wanted something serious in his life.  He had tried for the easy breasy thing, but it nnever really worked out for him.  He ultimately wanted more- or if he didn’t they did.  Relationships were already complicated he was not sure he then wanted to live up to this woman’s husband.  The fact was, he couldn’t.  

”I think we should think about the fact that my boss is your good friend, your daughter is in my class.”  He mentioned.  If and when this went south there were still those lasting connections.  Glancing at her for a moment. There was no way they got out of this without some kind of pain.  Right?  Boaz was also not the guy that was picked when it came down to it.  Most liked the idea of him, he was a muggle, he had lots of tattoos and he was the sort of guy that pissed your father off when you brought him home.  He knew that about himself- but that didn’t mean he still didn’t find himself upset at the idea of it.  

”I want to build a relationship with someone.  That’s always been my aim.”  he said with a small shrug.  He didn’t know if she actually wanted that, or if she was looking for a rebound.  Boaz felt he was worth more than someone’s rebound.  Not that he was better or worse than anyone else… he just wanted more, he deserved more and he didn’t know if Kate was actually able to give him more. 

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

Kate listened, a bemused smile on her face. More wine for the wine gods, she poured herself another drink. Her tolerance was so much higher these days, too many nights alone while Hazel was up at the school. She let out a soft sigh, and the look she gave him was (for once) a pure reflection of how she felt. Relaxed, not at all worried about any potential consequences, and with a fondness for Boaz and his adorable little concerns.

"Alan is a good friend, yes," she acknowledged. "More a constant pain in my arse, but it is what it is---we have a lot of history. You know that, surely? He wanted to marry me at one point, but... it'd only been a few years since we lost Calinda. Daddy would not have survived the heartbreak of losing me too. Even if that would have been his own choice, I couldn't do it to him," Kate frowned, rolling her eyes at her own past stupidity. "We do such dumb things for the people we think we should love."

Kate's relationship with her parents was a rough one. She still spoke to, and took care of them---dutiful daughter that she was, but neither her mother nor father had met Hazel. They had not been invited to her wedding. Kate had been her Daddy's girl, his perfect princess, until the moment it all came crashing down. After Calinda, the curtains had been pulled back and Kate didn't like the family she found herself in. Nothing had been the same after that.

"But, you know. We got over it. And the seven thousand times it started and ended, we always come back to where we are. Because I trust him, and... at the end of the day, we're friends. Always have been, always will be." and he would always be a pain in her arse, and she would bite back the same way. That's just who they were. Like family. Better family than she'd been born with, that was for sure.

"I don't really have much to offer you, Boaz," Kate admitted with a sigh. "You deserve so much more than I can give. A family, for one. Your own children. Less... complications. All I've got is mountains of baggage wrapped in a body too damaged to carry another baby. I was lucky to get Hazel. There's always the minute possibility of Matthew waking up, and then what? What happens then? What if he wakes up and we don't fit together anymore? Or I've moved on to someone else, and suddenly I need to choose?" Kate closed her eyes, exhaling as if she could breathe out the demons and confused thoughts that plagued her.

"But going to a bar and picking an opportunity at random was never my style, either. There's no soul in it. No real connection. I miss that more than anything. Trusting someone enough to share your whole self with them, to... let them see you at your most vulnerable. Know that when the world crashes on you in the dark of the night, they're there to hold you down." her smile now was sad, reflective.

"Ultimately, once I trust someone like that... I don't let them go. It's a bond for life, no matter what happens. It's why Alan and I always go back to where we are. Why my first husband is still a part of my life. It's not the kind of love they write movies about, but... it's very close," Kate was picky about partners. She was picky about everything. It took a lot for her to let go, to really let go. 

"I feel like I can trust you like that. And I want to. I don't know what comes next, or how it all works out, but..." Kate pushed herself to stand properly, stepping over to stand in front of Boaz, her wine glass held in front of her, grasped like a security blanket. "I do know that I'd like to be closer to you. Is that... okay?"

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

Boa had to admit this was a little uncomfortable.  It had not been strange to have a woman pay attention to him, it had happened before, and it was not something he had worried too much about in the long run.   Women often became upset that he didn’t want children.  That he was married to his job and that he was not always interested in spending time together.  He was a man who liked the things he liked and he was not about to get himself caught up in something that would be a little more than complicated.  This was by far a little more than complicated.  Not to mention he was the rebound and Boaz felt he was worthy of more than just a rebound.  

That and the way she was talking was kind of weirdly possessive to him.  A bond for life.  Boaz had not remained friends with his Exes for more than a few reasons, even those that ended on good terms.  He let out a small chuckle, one that really conveyed he was uncomfortable and not so much that he thought this was a funny situation.  ”Kate, I just don’t think this is a good idea.”  Which was his honest opinion.  ”Because someone is going to get hurt.”  that was usually how these things worked.  That and there was a third party who could get themselves hurt by something.  He was not really looking to hurt the small girl with the tremendous amount of spunk in his classroom.   

She then seemed to want to be closer to him.  He didn’t mind being friends.  He didn’t mind talking to her like he had previously.  That was not a big deal.  He just was not sure they needed to venture anywhere they might have regrets.  If her husband did wake up he wouldn’t be comfortable in the position he would be in, he could only imagine what he might think about Boaz being in his place.  He listened.  He thought about things.  He was a man who needed time to really digest things.  Especially when they involved him.  ”I think being friends is a good thing, that Is okay.”  he said as he attempted to set the boundary. 

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48 year old Pureblood Human ☆ She/Her

Kate flopped down onto a chair with a long sigh.

"Yes, yes," she said. "You're probably quite right."

It had all sounded like a very good idea to Kate, who tended to get tunnel vision when she wanted something. She got caught up and carried away, it had been so long since she'd felt anything remotely like physical attraction it had been such a thrill to feel like she might get that part of her life back. Logic and reality, and Boaz's better judgement, took away the last shreds of that wonderful fantasy, and... Kate very suddenly felt empty again. Her shoulders fell, and she tried to stay upright while her body felt like it was collapsing into the aching void that had reappeared in her chest.

What if this was her life from now on? Long stretches of feeling nothing, punctuated by bright and then soul-crushing moments of hope and disappointment. Kate didn't attach to people, or trust them easily. She needed that before she could feel attracted to them. She needed to know they would be there, needed to feel secure. Independent as she wanted people to think she was, she didn't let go easily. She couldn't. The hole that people created when they left her life was too unbearable.

"I hurt people. And I make them want to go away," the smile on her face was sad, distant. "My sister said that, right before she went. I wonder sometimes if it was a curse she put on me, or just some dying wish magic, or... I don't know. I'm exactly what she saw? And maybe I don't deserve more than I have, because... I haven't been a good sort of person." Kate knew it. She hated herself for it. Sometimes she wondered if Matt's coma was less an unfortunate accident, and more karmic revenge.

"What if Hazel realises?" her voice shook suddenly. It was a thought that had always been there, but Kate never dared voice it. "Sooner or later, I'm going to drive her away too, and I don't..." Kate didn't know how to do this any more. Her sadness was dragging Hazel down, was it going to push her  away too? How did she stop that from happening? The ache wasn't going away any time soon, and the way that brief hope had crumbled made it clear enough that there was no bright future just there on the horizon. Kate felt she needed to get better for Hazel's sake, to be real again before  her daughter grew up without the mother she deserved. 

"I don't know how to fix me so that she won't get hurt."

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Tally Staff ☆ Bilby Grade one TeacherKay
30 year old Muggleborn Human ☆ he/him

Looking at Cheetoh for a moment he nodded.  ”I think, at some point we all hurt someone.”  It was something he was fairly accustomed to.  Hs grandmother had not been thrilled, he was magical.  Letting out a small sigh he understood why she as upset.  ”I think the way to live, and this is in my opinion and you know what they say about opinions.  People are not good or bad.  People do good things, or they do bad things.  When you are doing something good, you are good.”  He looked at her for a moment and then sighed.  ”I live my life in a way that I can teach others, not to interrupt anyone else’s journey.”  It was not easy sometimes.  ”Letting out a small smile he looked at her.”  the trouble with being hazel’s mom was that he very much liked her.  <p>

”At some point, all daughter push their mother’s away it’s part of growing up.”  He reminded her.  ”It wont be a bad thing when she pushed away from you for independence,  And she is way ahead of her classmates so it might be sooner than most of the other girls.  Please Kate, please stop putting so much pressure on yourself.”  he said with a smile as he moved to squeeze her arm.  He smiled wide as he did so.  

”the problem if that you think you need to be fixed.  I don’t think youa re broken to begin with.  Those who are broken don’t realize the sins they have committed and you… you realize that you may have things to repent for.” He looked at her and nodded.  ”I don’t want you to see yourself as something so terrible, when the reality is that you are not so terrible you are afterall sitting here with me after making a few snap judgements.” 

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