I'm not even going to go the route of asking, 'How', I know 'HOW' I want to know -WHY-?! Not why she's pregnant, why would some twisted fate think it would be every remotely a good idea that I would end up as a father? Okay, yea, I'm probably the coolest guy around, hands down, no competition. But there'd been nothing shown in me, nothing in my mind or my heart or even my very personality that would ever suggest that I could be considered a viable father. Maybe once upon a time, when I was less
Everything feel so much different now. The way the world feels and my very presence within the atmosphere around me almost as if I finally fit in the world much more than I had originally. It was strange, being in between Life and Death or in the middle of a chaotic maelstrom of magic against magic. When your entire body is a battlefield against itself you tend to have a very skewered view of how magic -should- feel. It's no wonder that now, partially put together, that I can feel the sensory of
3 January, 2019
It is perhaps somewhat amazing how much one's life can change within the span of a single year. At this time last year, I had recently returned not long to Merlbourne and Australia. I had trouble integrating back into my family circle, after years of separation and not nearly as much contact as should have been had, due to my own doing. I had made my walls erected so high that even I could not scale that which I had created. I had not expected the incident at the Unwedding t
10 October, 2018
Life within this household has become easier to manage as time goes on. Mary is a wonderful woman, and she does at times remind me of my own grandmother. Though the rambunctious members of the Blair family do make it difficult at times to find peace and quiet, I have learned to deal with it. At times I feel as though it is my life with Anastasia and Viktoriya multiplied by tenfold.
Oddly enough I find myself with the most solace when I am in Améa’s company.
As I s
If I could put everything that has been going through my mind down on paper I'm pretty sure I could make not only a novel, but a best selling one at that. I am not even sure where to start with everything to try and get my mind nice and clear, just to gain a bit of grasp on this crazy ship that has been my life since entering Tallygarunga. No. . . That may have been the explosion in the chamber. . . But the bullet in this scenario was definitely finding out that I not only had a Sister but that
Not entirely sure how I found myself in this very blazing predicament, as much as I enjoy the uncertainty of what a blaze can consume this is probably one of the few times I am utterly unsure about anything. Speaking,. of course, metaphorically - It has been sometime since I considered anything 'serious' in terms of relationships. There has been the occasional bed buddy and I can't forget good ol' Luce, who was much more consistent in that path. But nothing beyond friends with benefits evolved f
6 May, 2018
For the last few weeks I have been stationed at the home of Stuart's mother, charged with watching over the home, and watching over Améa in her current state. The events of the party last month still have not left my mind, though I suppose it goes without saying. I saw magic unfold that I had not thought was even possible. I saw my brother succumb to the beast within our blood without a second thought when he saw what happened to my niece Lorelei.
In the time since the inc
31 March 2018
How strange it is to be back in Melbourne after so many years away.
It is wonderful to see mother and father on a daily basis, of course. To see Anastasia and Viktoriya, Viktor and Jezebel. The triplets and Lorelei have grown. And yet, none of them can quite understand what I have experienced in my time before and immediately after departure to Moscow for the symphony. What option did I have? Hardly any - it served as the perfect escape from the gaping hole that had been
I think Mrs Mary is surprised to see me writing.
It's no secret that I failed many years at Tallygarunga due to poor language skills, and that my speech is not as fluid as that of my family. They forget (or don't realise) that I don't speak English natively. Even years after Grandmiere deposited me here in the hopes that Mamiere would take care of me, I still find it awkward and difficult. I don't understand why Mamiere insists on speaking it at all, especially among our own---our language
It's been years. . . Yet even tonight the thoughts can't even escape from me. Another restless night, another vivid dream. Sometimes I wonder what I could have done that would have been different. Even slightly different. In the end nothing seemed to dawn on me as a difference in decision, the outcome would have been worse or the same - You shouldn't have done it. You had the time to run yet. . . - Nightly Musings of Derrick
July 20th, 2010 - United Kingdom
Derrick had found himself ou
February 25th, 2018 - Previous Day
Alexander had been straightening up his room in the dormitory and laying out the various materials that he'd need to go over through the week. Just because he was a Spencer didn't mean he had to be some kind of sloppy student. Especially considering he knew he had to work just a bit harder in order to make it over the hump within certain classes. He shook his head in frustration as he leaned against his desk with his head inclined to stare at the ceiling.
Sitting is an odd challenge when you have no physical body. In five years I've not got used to the fact that I don't actually have to support myself, I still feel the "phantom" limbs as if they were heavy and still grounding me to the world. Some days I wonder if that's my body that I can feel, lying still on a hospital bed, but I don't feel it when I am moved around. It's probably just the memory of having weight. Either way, trying to organise yourself into a natural sitting position without t